It's interesting (and somewhat terrifying) turning 30 and becoming a mom all in the same year. There's nothing to make it hit home like a protruding stomach and expanding hips.
The other day I was running some errands at Target, and I had to stop a young, 20-something, male clerk to ask if he knew where I could find a particular item. He gave me a nice smile and pointed me in the right direction with an isle number as my destination. As I walked away, it occurred to me that the smile I had gotten from him was not one of "hi, somewhat-hot-female-also-in-your-20s, how can I be of assistance to you while giving you a flirtatious smile?", but rather, "hi pregnant mom, you are clearly 30, married and no longer of interest to me; how can I politely help you so I can finish restocking these shelves and then run off to happy hour?"
I know these thoughts I'm having are not an insult to my husband or my marriage, but rather just a realization that I am entering a new stage of my life (the crossing of a threshold to which an enormous steel vault door slammed shut without my knowledge. And upon turning around I saw that there was not even a tiny crack of hope that I might be able to poke my pinky toe through to again bask in the glory of being 20).
I know Matt is having similar feelings, because as we signed up for Costco memberships yesterday he admitted to me that there was this dread deep down inside him that somehow this meant he was planning ahead, buying in bulk, nesting - none of which are things a 20-something bachelor with no kids would dream of doing.
So to celebrate this new era of our lives, Matt took Friday off work to spend the day with me as a gift for my first Mother's Day. We went to a maternity consignment sale, stood in line with other new parents, rushed in the doors to grab a large, plastic, colorful "activity center", baby bathtub, umbrella stroller and "boppie" pillow. And driving home, we heard the rattles of Julianna's first toy as it waved a cheery goodbye to our 20s and an anxious and hopeful hello to our 30s - as responsible adults and parents!